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Certainly in today's fast-paced and changing business world, it makes sense to change the rules. You've got to adapt, and change, innovation, reengineering, transformation, and like words have a with-it cachet. Though people often resist saying goodbye to old habits, in time, most will change, and generally change is for the good, since it leads to better ways of doing things.

Yet sometimes, change does not work and backfires in the long run, such as when you change previously established rules to which everyone has agreed without getting their agreement. You may not know it at the time, because people may be afraid to state their feelings of resistance, but tensions and resentment can build up. Then, the change you want may lead to changes you don't, because the change breaks bonds of trust. You may not see the results right away—but down the road, watch out.

That's what happened when Brad entered into a partnership agreement with Perry to start a mail order business selling unique personalized premiums such as mugs, calendars, and banners. Brad and Perry had had great rides during the dot.com boom, but after a year of parttime and temporary jobs, both were struggling to make ends meet. But since Brad still had some credit left on his credit cards, he offered to provide the small amount of funds they needed to get started—about $1000 for a name, stationery, business cards, and small classified ads. The understanding was that the first funds would go to pay Brad back and then they would share the proceeds 50–50. Sure, Perry agreed, and they started off using Brad's living room, kitchen, and garage to set up the shipping arrangements. While it was Brad's job to locate the products and suppliers and handle most of the customer contact to make the sale, Perry's job was getting the leads, organizing them, and sending out the orders. Meanwhile, they each continued to work at odd jobs and assignments as they could, spending about 20 hours each week on the business.

Unfortunately, it took a little longer than expected to get off the ground, because of the time needed to get all their sales materials together and organize their leads. Still Brad and Perry seemed to have a great working relationship, and Perry began to confide in Brad about his own difficulties in making it from day to day. "I used to be making great money," he said. "But not now." Meanwhile, Brad was having his own problems with nearly maxed out credit cards, though he didn't want to burden Perry with his situation, given Perry's dire straights. At least some money was starting to come in from the business, more and more each month, and Brad was able to start paying himself back. Brad estimated that in about a month they would both start sharing the proceeds, as he told Perry. "We're so close to break-even. Just a few more weeks."

Then everything exploded. Perry sent Brad a letter stating that he wanted at least $300 now because he was so broke, or he would stop working on the business entirely. As he explained, he had told some friends about how he couldn't make money from the business until the business broke even, but then his friends told him that arrangement was ridiculous. Instead, they stated firmly, even though incorrectly, that typically in partnerships the first thing the partners should do after making money from a sale was to pay the partner and then pay the bills. Besides, Perry claimed, a part-time job he was training for might develop into something more. So now he wanted his share of the income from the few recent sales they had had plus his share of each future transaction. Or if Brad wanted to end the partnership, Perry concluded: "You can pay me for the work I have done and I'll turn over the list of leads and other materials I put together for the business."

Brad was floored by the sudden request and wasn't sure what to do.

What Should Brad Do?

Here are some possibilities. In Brad's place, what would you do and why? What do you think the outcomes of these different options would be?

• Refuse Perry's demand for more money and remind him that the original agreement was to pay you back first. Besides, Perry has too much stake in the business to simply bail out and is probably bluffing.

• Agree to send Perry a check to gain his continued cooperation, but then don't send the check, since he probably no longer expects it after his apology.

• Send Perry the check in the spirit of good will, accept Perry's apology, and continue with the partnership as if nothing happened, since Perry has made amends.

• Refuse to let Perry's threat browbeat you regardless of the consequences, and find another line of business without Perry.

• Other?

Barry's conundrum was that he felt he couldn't continue the business without the leads or Perry handling the orders. But he also felt like Perry was suddenly holding him up, changing their original agreement by fiat. So should he confront Perry directly? Placate him? Or what?

Finally, Brad did the one thing that seemed to resolve the situation for the moment. He wrote back to Perry, telling him that he would send him a check for $300, though he also complained that "I'm a partner, too." He pointed out that, in addition, he had advanced about $2000 toward the business, including his initial $1000 payment, using the first payments to pay himself back. Plus, he explained that with his own high credit card debts and house mortgage, his own financial situation was close to collapse. Finally, he emphasized how the key to the success of the business was to bring in more orders, so they both could get compensated—and they needed only about a dozen more at this point.

Fortunately, Brad's letter broke the log jam, since Perry responded that he hadn't taken into account some of the extra expenses Brad had incurred, because "I forgot about them." Perry apologized for coming on so strong that he appeared to threaten the continued survival of the business if Brad didn't pay up right way. "I only asked to be compensated for my time. I wasn't trying to undermine anything." In addition, he agreed to work even harder after he took a short break to finish up training for his part-time job, working on both if necessary.

Yet, for Brad, Perry's apology wasn't enough to put aside what had happened. The damage had already been done by Perry's request to change the rules, and it still wasn't clear if Perry's apology meant he no longer was asking for a payment, since he sent a separate message thanking Brad for saying he would send the check. Just in case, Brad did send Perry the $300. But he also began looking for another partner or a way to carry on the business on his own once he got the information he needed from Perry. So on one level it may have seemed like business as usual. But while trying to maintain an appearance of "everything's fine" Brad was preparing for a future without Perry.

Why the dual strategy and deception? Brad realized how dependent he was on Perry, so he felt he had to give him what he wanted to gain his cooperation, even if Perry had backed off from his demand. At the same time, his feelings of trust in his partner were gone, so in the future, he wanted to end that dependency link; he wanted to work with someone he could trust. Thus, while Perry might have gotten what he wanted in the short term, he had undermined the long-term relationship. Outwardly, everything might have appeared like the relationship returned to the way it was, but Perry's actions had led Brad to become devious in return. While he was acting like all was fine again, even sending the money because Perry needed it, Brad was looking toward the future— one without Perry, because Perry had threatened to change the rules.

Similarly, think carefully if you are in a situation where you would like to change an agreement. Be very careful what you ask for, because you might get it, only to find out that in the long term, you are not getting what you really want. Alternatively, if you're in a situation where someone suddenly changes the rules on you, consider what to do from both a short-term and a long-term perspective. As in Brad's case, an initial strategy might be to go along with the rule change, if the alternative is worse, such as undermining your business or work relationship entirely. But then, consider what else you might do in the future when the initial threat is gone—such as finding another partner you can trust or finding a way to do the work yourself (say by hiring an assistant), once the person you don't trust is out of the picture

Conclusion

• Before you try to change the rules, think how someone else is going to feel about those changes. He or she needs to understand and agree to those rule changes, too.

• If you try to change the rules using threats about how valuable you are, you might be giving someone a good reason to find they can do without your value in the future.

• If someone tries to force a rule change on you, think about the best strategy. Maybe it would be worth agreeing to change the rules right now, but you can make your own rule changes later to make things right.