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I come through the door of my apartment after a long and
exhausting day at work and have just put down my briefcase
when the phone rings.
‘My name is Kerner. I’m from AOP Insurance and I would
like to ask whether you are satisfied with your present insurance,’
says a voice on the other end of the line.
A situation we all know. Someone on the other end of the
line who wants to sell you something although you have already
got everything you need. Of course I’m insured. My car is
insured, the contents of my household are insured, my apartment
is insured, and I’ve even insured my cat. Nowadays, everything
is insurable, even death.
And once you’ve taken out the insurance and put all those
sheets of paper covered with small print carefully away in the
file labelled ‘Insurance’, you forget all about it. You’re only
reminded of its existence when you find the bill for the insurance
premium in the mail or when something happens and
you actually need to file a claim.
‘I don’t quite understand,’ I say to Mr Kerner. Bad move.
Now he gives me the standard 10-minute lecture on the advantages
of AOP Insurance, in particular their unbeatable prices
etc, etc, etc.
‘Hello? Are you still there?’ he asks when he finally pauses
for breath and realizes that there are no signs of life from my
end of the line. ‘Good question!’ I answer provocatively. ‘Look,
Mr Kerner. I have 38 years of experience with insurance
companies, and I know that it’s not the insurance company
itself that matters, but the relationship between its customers
and their personal insurance agent.’
‘Oh? So you’re in the insurance business, too?’ he asks,
moving into ‘oh-so-we’re-colleagues’ mode. ‘No. Whatever
gave you that idea?’ I answer innocently. ‘But… you just said
you have 38 years of experience with insurance companies!’
‘Right! I’m 38 years old, and like every other Central
European, I’ve been insured since the day of my birth.’
My answer has taken him completely by surprise! I glance at
my watch. Unbelievable! Mr Kerner has wasted 16 minutes of
my precious time and has given me absolutely nothing in
return. This makes my tone a shade more direct, more
provocative and definitely more aggressive.
‘Well, you’ve told me a lot about how good and inexpensive
your company is. Now tell me something about yourself!’
‘What do you want to know?’ he asks uncertainly. My question
probably wasn’t covered in the instruction manual for
insurance salesmen.
‘Well, tell me something about your own personal service,
the way you advise your customers. For example, when nothing
has happened and they don’t need to file a claim. How does
your service differ from that offered by your colleagues or by
my insurance agent?’
He sidesteps the issue: ‘The fact is that what the average
customer wants is the best possible insurance cover for the
lowest premium.’
‘No. The fact is that I am not the average customer.’ (Who
wants to be average?) ‘And I just happen to be absolutely
convinced that I am insured with a fairly conventional
company but with the best insurance agent in the world. His
name is Harry Gisler, and he’s always there for me. I hear from
him without fail about every two months. Whenever I have had
to claim on my insurance, he has taken care of everything for
me, from A to Z. He contacts me whenever he can see a way to
reduce my insurance premiums or whenever he finds additional
cover I need. He knows me, my girlfriend and my son by
name, and he would recognize me anywhere in the world.’
‘But Mr Fritzmann…!’
‘Kinderman! My name is Kinderman!’ I correct him. This call
has now gone on for 24 minutes, but I can tell that it’s nearing
its end.
‘Tell you what. I’m going to do two things,’ he answers,
unperturbed. ‘I’m going to send you our brochures in the mail
and then we can make an appointment so I can give you a
better idea of myself and AOP Insurance.’
‘Wrong!’ I answer. ‘I am going to do two things. First, I’m
going to wish you a pleasant evening, and second, I’m going to
put the phone down.’ And I did.
Amazingly good!
My insurance agent knew that I was planning to fulfil a
childhood dream of mine and buy myself a convertible. He
gave me the address of a good and fair car dealer, and not five
weeks later, I bought a car there. When I got back to the office
on that day, there was a large tube of suntan lotion on my desk
with a card bearing the friendly words: ‘Don’t forget to protect
yourself, and Happy Travels!’
I had my mobile phone stolen when I was in South Africa. I
phoned my insurance agent and asked what I should do. He
asked me a couple of questions, then said: ‘You just go ahead
and enjoy the rest of your holiday. I’ll take care of the phone
problem!’ And he was as good as his word. When I got home, I
found a brand-new mobile on my desk with all the necessary
paperwork, all filled in and waiting for my signature. All I had
to do was sign and thank him.
In the summer of 1999, a heavy hailstorm damaged
hundreds of cars. My insurance company seized this opportunity
to motivate their frustrated customers. Each customer
received an invitation to bring in his or her car for damage
assessment. This meant that the insurance company had to
deal with hundreds of customers in the space of just a few days.
When I drove my badly pockmarked car into the hangar-like
building, I couldn’t believe my eyes. My insurance agent
was standing at the entrance with a glass of fruit juice in his
hand. He welcomed me, invited me to get out and accompany
him to the Summer Bar the insurance company had set up
especially for its clients. While the experts took a look at my
car, we had a very pleasant chat. Less than 20 minutes later,
someone came and handed me my car keys. When I got home
and opened the boot, I found a box of chocolates there. The
insurance company had placed one in every car as a surprise
gift. | 
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