In the retirement home

On the one hand, I really enjoy visiting my grandmother in her retirement home, because she really means the world to me, but on the other, I hate the clinical atmosphere at ‘Zur Linde’, her retirement home. My grandmother knows this, but she always says: ‘Leave it, dear. Everyone here is really quite nice.’ Believe me, I do appreciate the work done by the staff of such homes all over the world, and I am quite aware that, as a businessman, I would never be able to do this complex job myself. And I do hope that someone will take care of me when I reach my grandmother’s age. In 53 years time, I will be as old as my grandmother is now, and I would like to use that time to draw attention to a few things that just don’t make sense.

The clothes drawers in my grandmother’s room are so low down that she has trouble bending to take out fresh garments. The TV set hangs on the wall in the corner of the room, which means that my grandmother can only watch TV by tilting her head back and craning her neck. Her 91-year-old neck. The keypad on her telephone has keys of normal size.

Imagine you are a 91-year-old lady with bad eyesight and trembling hands and try to dial your grandson or granddaughter’s number. I’m betting you couldn’t. More than once, she dialled a complete stranger’s number, until I stored the most important numbers for her on speed-dialling keys. Still, the keys are too small and, in my opinion, it is the responsibility of the home to ensure that telephones with large keypads are installed in all the rooms. The same goes for the remote controls for TV and radio sets.

In general, the writing on all signs and labels in the home is too small, both in the rooms themselves and in the corridors. Neither the architect nor the person directly responsible for the signs was working with the customers’ best interests at heart here, which is a pity. Making an elderly person’s life easier is such a rewarding task.

But recently, when I offered to mention these things to the manager of the home, my grandmother just said again: ‘Leave it dear. Everyone here is really quite nice.’

Amazingly good!

A retirement home on Lake Constance has completely embraced the cause of meeting the requirements of all its residents. The home has its own small zoo with pets and its own library in a conservatory built especially to house it. The menu is in large print and the staff are familiar with the likes and dislikes of all the residents (favourite foods, favourite drink, favourite colour, favourite flowers, etc). The staff also organize regular trips for the residents. They have even been to see an international football match together!